Zombie Tuesdays

04/12/2011 at 4:27 pm (Writing, Zombie Tuesday) (, , , , , , , , , , )

So I have decided to start doing something slightly new with my blog.  I was thinking about how I can only talk about so many different writing subjects per a week, and how it might be nice to spice things up a bit with some zombies.

 

The funny thing is, I don’t really read much or watch much with zombies, and I’ve only ever written one short story for Halloween that had any of the undead in it.  But whenever I can’t sleep at night, or need something to occupy my thoughts during a long workday, I think about what I would do in certain worst-case scenarios, and I can’t think of anything that’s worse than the zombie apocalypse.

 

Anyways, to start off this zombie Tuesday, I thought I’d share what I wrote for my Self Review at the end of last year.  Unfortunately, my boss made me redo it, but here is my original self-review:

Kati, Administrative Zombie Slayer

Self-Review

 

Throughout this last year the zombie infestation has gotten more than a little out of control, and whereas it’s my job to deal with the undead pests as Administrative Zombie Slayer, I find that the alarm system that was set up is more distracting than helpful, and the shotgun pellets are starting to get expensive.

 

We have tried the freezing method, but then the sales team complains: “Oh, I can’t work under these conditions,” or “It’s so cold, I can’t feel my limbs,” so we are forced to turn on the heat again, and the zombies thaw and start to try and chew on anything with flowing blood, which does include the sales force.

 

I therefore recommend stronger firepower, and maybe booby-trapping the perimeters of our office.  Sure the explosions might be louder than the alarms were, and sure there might be some property damage, but hey, at least then we’ll be able to reduce the zombie infestation while we try to sell mats over here.

 

In between my efforts of battling the undead, I do enter in all the orders, answer all the questions about tracking, payments, and medical research on zombie infested bites, and I feel I perform these tasks rather admirably considering the circumstances.

 

I do feel it was a large drawback when we had to let the cyborg go do to an infected bite, but alas, I agree that having a zombie cyborg running about the office is quite terrifying.  That was a huge dampener on moral, and the troll that was hired in the cyborg’s place just isn’t doing it justice.  But hey, you work with what you’ve got.  And the troll doesn’t complain too much about the zombies’ goo when it comes to the messier aspects of the job.

 

Things that I feel I could improve upon for this coming year are, I think I would be able to get more filing done if I had stronger firepower along with the booby-traps that will hopefully be set by then.  And I’m not talking about little stuff, but rather flamethrowers, and maybe a mini-uzi or two.  That way I spend less time reloading the shotgun, and more time firing, therefore giving me more time to enter in orders and do some serious filing.

 

If the sales representatives complain about the noises of battle, I suggest we replace them with some of the zombies that have finally been tamed and trained to do a little bit of phone conversation.  Sure, we won’t be able to allow customers into the office anymore, since there’s the risk of those zombies going berserk and trying to eat them, but in the end, I think it will improve morale and general productivity.

 

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Another Lazy Weekend

04/11/2011 at 7:46 pm (Writing) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

This past weekend was another rough one for me when it came to getting much writing or reading done.  I headed up to Sacramento as soon as I got out of work on Friday (which is why I’ll be doing my Friday book recommendation later today), and we played “Heroes of Might and Magic V” for the rest of the day.

I know, I know, playing a computer game is no excuse for not getting my work done.  But I really love “Heroes of Might and Magic III” and “V” is very similar.

Anyway, Saturday I ran 16 miles.  My sisters, brother and law, boyfriend, and I are getting ready for the Big Sur Marathon in May, so we’re going to start tapering now.  Our 22-mile run last weekend was our longest run until then.  After the run on Saturday, I didn’t really get too much more done for the rest of the day.  When I got home that evening I pretty much just crashed out in bed and had some weird dreams.

Sunday was when my critique group met.  I spent the morning re-reading the sections that we were critiquing that day, and the critique itself took up most of my evening.  So when I did get back home again, I didn’t feel like doing too much else other than reading a little more of “the Unidentified.”

My sister and I did start drawing out a city map for our novel before the critique happened, and we did start talking about how we’re going to wrap up some of out major plot lines.  Also, as I was walking over to the coffee shop we’re we meet every three weeks for our critique I saw baby geese!  They were so cute and fuzzy!  Here’s a picture I took of them (although they are almost too small to see):

The final think I accomplished this weekend was that I found a picture of me where I: 1.) don’t look like a zombie, 2.) am not doing that stupid lithe fake smile that I tend to do in photos, and 3.) am not purposefully making a stupid face at the camera.  So that is not my profile picture.

How is everyone else doing?  Did any new and exciting news happen while I disappeared from the blogging world?

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The New Kid on the Blog

03/31/2011 at 3:16 am (Blogging, Social Media, Writing) (, , , , , , , , , , )

As you all know, I am really, very new at this whole social media thing.  So, pretty much anything anyone has to teach me about the blogging world is much appreciated.

Earlier today I was doing my little, daily drunken stumble from blog post to blog post (although I wasn’t really drinking, so it was more like a sober stumble), and I came across Kristen Lamb’s blog post “Go Hard or Go Home – Blogging & Branding.”  Reading this post was very helpful, but I wasn’t much more than a tenth of the way through when I started thinking, “crap!  I’m doing something totally wrong!”

It might be common sense to a lot of people, but I was not aware that my writing blog’s name should have my actual name in it.  I would have saved myself a lot of time and trouble just calling it “Kati Bartkowski’s Blog” rather than fretting over what I felt might be the ideal name.  Since I am, as I mentioned earlier, new at this, I won’t kick myself too hard over it.

Fixing this little issue should be easy enough.  When I am through writing this post, I will go ahead and put my name in my blog and my user name, and from this day forth, all my posts will have Kati Bartkowski listed in all the tabs.

The goal here is to see if I can get my blog seen before all my old Judo tournament results and slow race times when anyone tries to google my name.  Wish me luck on this venture, because I’m definitely going to need it.

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