What Will You Do During the Zombie Apocalypse?

04/19/2011 at 4:49 pm (Zombie Tuesday) (, , , , , , , , )

Continuing on with Zombie Tuesday, I’m going to move on to the line of thought that started it.  A lot of times when I need something to pass the time, I think about what I would do during the zombie apocalypse.  Hasn’t everyone done that at some point?

Anyway, my point is, I think I’ve solidified my plans if the zombie apocalypse starts while I’m at work.

The office I work in isn’t particularly large, and it is on the second floor with two exits.  The back exit I’m not too worried about since it is a typical wood door that leads down to a fenced in yard.  In that yard there’s an overgrown tree, and on the other side of the fence another two story building.

The front door is another problematic story all together, because it is made of glass.  Luckily, the stairs leading up to it are narrow, so I’m hoping that they will slow down the zombie hordes enough that I can put my plan into action.

Step 1: Fortify the front entrance

As I mentioned earlier, the front door is a bit problematic.  So I was thinking, the very first thing I’d do is probably push the couch we have sitting in the waiting area, outside onto the stairs.  That way the zombies would have to climb over it to get to the door.  Next I’d flip over the desk next to the door so it’s blocking as much of the glass door as possible.  And then I’d wheel over the copy/fax/scanner machine we have to hold the desk in place (the wheels on the bottom of the machine can be locked so it’s really hard to move).

Hopefully that will buy me (and anyone else trapped in the office with me) time to follow through with the rest of my plan.

Step 2: Prepare the Emergency Exit

This step is pretty easy, since we have a little skylight thing in our kitchenette that leads to the roof.  I would prefer, when the time came, to exit out back into the little fenced in courtyard, but preparing for the worst case scenario where the zombies are swarming back in the courtyard, and they’re about to get in through the front, I would want to set up a ladder going up to the skylight, and open it so it’s an easy exit.  Lucky for us, we have a ladder at my work in the little utilities closet for roof maintenance.

If I did end up having to go to the roof, I’d have to improvise since I’ve never been up there before.

Step 3: Arm myself

The quick and easy way to arm myself would be to grab a golf-club from the little tic-tac-toe putt-putt set we have, but I’ve always fancied myself as more of a blade girl.  And since we have a nice Exacto paper cutting board, I think I’d take that apart and use the blade on it as a machete.

Step 4: Preparation for the long haul

So I’m somewhat armed and secure now, but for all that I think that the office I work in is the most defensible place I can easily get to (being a large assassin firm, and all that), it’s not a permanent solution.  There will be the issue of food, plus, because of my sunny location, the ground does this really terrifying thing where it violently shakes from time to time.  Add that to the fact that there are fires as often as there’s rain, and I’m thinking I might need to move up north a state.  But that’s a plan to describe at a later date.

So what are your plans for the zombie apocalypse?

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